The stars smiled at me
While the sun beamed it's
light towards my path
I quickly held my water pot
And spoke to my feet
Got to the river to do some laundry
Mother would be expectant
So I rushed towards home
Little did I know He was after
me
I heard some footsteps
But saw no one
Almost entering the house
I heard this angelic voice
"How are you doing babe?”
My heart skipped a beat
I knew it would be from a
handsome face
I stopped without turning back
"You are so beautiful''
The handsome said again
“Thank you so much"
I replied and turned
To my surprise
I didn't see the person whose
voice I heard
There was no correlation between the person whose voice I heard
There was no correlation between the person whose voice I heard
And the giraffe I saw
Was a beggar
Dressed in "sack
like" garment
He looked horrible like a
monster
His face spoke of torment
His eye balls rolled out of a million
year’s fast
His beard tangled like wasted
thread
Broom sticks are fatter than
his thin neck and legs
I guessed he was a visitor
from hell
No where in the world would a
man have suffered that much
He smiled at me
His mouth opening to reveal
some set of rotten maize
Even his shoes must have
suffered so much in the hands of cobblers
Oh! He must have bore the sins
of the whole world
He gave another irritating
smile
"Can I have a glass of
water please?"
Where in the world would I get
a hypo
Capable of washing your
contaminated spit off my cup? "
I yelled at him
I quickly got my goat's cane
Since they were not in any way
different
I flogged him off my door step
He ran like the pigs
Possessed by the legion
Having fought a monster this
early
I wondered how the rest of the
day will be
Salewa listened
sympathetically
As I narrated the scene with
the Monster
I wonder what got her in such
mood
Should the Monster have been
her relative?
I mocked inside of me
Anyway, Salewa is nothing
better
She is the ugliest among us
Tola and Sade cannot be
compared with her
Even though I'm the most
beautiful of them
We can't say Salewa does not have
in her
An atom of beauty
After all, "Good is
everything created by God"
Even her name suggests the
ugliness
Salewa!
She sought well for a house
that can accommodate ugliness
That must have been the cause
of her sympathy
Some months later
I couldn't believe my ears
When ugly Salewa got engaged
She told Sade and I
With her face glistening with a
smile
It's not a joke
I saw the proposal ring
Hanging round her middle
finger
Who could have proposed to
ugly Salewa?
Leaving me the "miss
world" aside
"So who is this lucky man?”
I managed to ask
“Biodun”, Salewa replied with
a broad smile
Which Biodun? I remembered the
Monster murmured something like:
I'm B-i-o-du-n
“Do you mean Monster? Monster?
No ooo
It's the same Biodun you know
But he's not a Monster”
I wondered in my heart how foolish
a lady could be
Even if you are not beautiful
Does that mean you should
become a "MONSTRESS?"
Salewa wouldn't listen
She kept singing
"The wonderful story of
love"
Hmm! Love indeed!
In the mist of other friends
This Salewa kept talking about
her wedding plans
I blinked and flickered my
eyes
Till it almost blotted out
Trying to stop Salewa from
disgracing herself
Yet, she will not listen
Her flatters were heart
raising
That none of them will believe
Our friend is getting married
to a Monster
I couldn't imagine
How gloomy the day will be
Poor Salewa!
She will take
"garri" throughout her life
They will live in a bamboo
house
Where rats and cockroaches
will be her neighbors
Thus looking uglier
I the "miss cute"
Will never marry a man like Biodun
I wouldn't waste my striking
beauty
And good shape as this
On a man like him
Finally the day is here
Salewa's wonderful day
Wonderful indeed!
I dressed in one of my
"aso oke"
Rubbed on minor makeup
With my "Ileke" to
match
Tola and Sade also managed to
wear something
We couldn't dress more
Since the bride couldn't
afford much
Sade dressed the bride
While Tola made up her face
We can't leave her
To look like a
"montress"
On a special day as these
Though she will look like one
thereafter
We got to the venue
And everything was....
Awww! What a dull and boring
atmosphere!
This is an opportunity to make
her feel stupid
I'm not the type that cares
about people's feelings
I walked towards the bride in
front of everyone
I sympathized mockingly
"Oh dear!
Sorry that you've got no money
Else you would have financed
your wedding better"
"Your Monster must be
poor indeed"
At the word
"Monster"
Montress Salewa boiled hot
Responding with a slap at 100
degree Celsius
Quickly, I untied my
"iro"
Ready to fight her in
underwear
That's how disastrous I could
be
Tola started drawing me
Everyone ran towards the scene
Everywhere became noisy like
the war field
"No! I will give my own back"
She can't slap and go
"Stop these Ewatomi"
(Guessed you've now known my
name)
Tola kept screaming
This Tola wouldn't just stop
holding me
I can't just let go
I will have to
revenge..........
What happened next?
Find out in "I Can't
Believe That Monster Is My Friend's Husband" part 2.
Well done, dear!
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